The Anti-Hippie

Last Post

2006-04-21T17:19:00.000-04:00

This will be my last post here.

I'll keep posting at my blogsome site, however.

Eww... perverts. The bad kind.

2006-04-14T22:51:00.000-04:00

Since Blogspot Admin, etc., etc., have refused to remove the blog celebrating pedophilia, I'm movin'. I'll continue stopping in here for a week, but after that, this site goes bye-bye.

Here are my new digs.

I guess I'm a big softy

2006-04-10T22:20:00.000-04:00

but my thoughts are full of her... The way she moves, her face, the way her hair tickles my nose... her voice, her EVERYTHING. Hopeless romantics, raise your hands.

UPDATE:
Apparently she still has at least a bit in the way of feelings for her ex, so we're to be "friends" for now. Dammit.

It's Monday, and I'm takin' requests...

2006-04-10T22:17:00.000-04:00

What would you like me to pray for?

Life is good.

2006-04-07T22:57:00.000-04:00

I have a beautiful date for prom, about 4 more weeks of college for the year, and I just listened to The Final Cut. Things are lookin' up.

How about you guys?

I'm finally among my people...

2006-04-05T21:47:00.000-04:00

The Anti-Hippie Action League

"The Anti-Hippie Action League was founded in 1995 with the express purpose of wiping longhairs off the face of the planet, by whatever means deemed appropriate. Society has for far too long neglected to stem the growth of hippie-culture and has thus remained ignorant of the degenerative effects. Common stereo-types of hippies being smelly, stoned, lazy and ugly looking prove consistantly true, but it is not enough to dissuade new youths from joining in. It is our mission to put an end to this societal plague before we all end up with ratty dreadlocks."

I'm joining. God may love the dirty hippies, but I don't. I bathe.

Jesus saves!

2006-04-03T22:12:00.000-04:00

The rest of you take damage.

It's once again Monday, time for your prayer requests... Whaddaya need?

The sky is falling!

2006-04-01T23:55:00.000-05:00

I actually went on a date tonight. Yes, me, out with a real, live girl.

And now, I have a prom date.

To quote Sin City,
"She smelled like angels oughtta smell."

Grandmother's heart

2006-03-31T19:08:00.000-05:00

is going to be fine. Apparently the surgery went off without a hitch, and she should get better soon.

In other news, here is the Daily Babe-age:

Bad American?

2006-03-30T02:11:00.000-05:00

While browsing on Totse, I came across this little gem: (edited for language)
It's crude at times, but it's (mostly) true.

I Am A BAD American

by George Carlin

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary, with a bad comb-over, who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God.

Hillary Clinton is a lesbian.

My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpson's, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-fork-up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where he gets his money. And why he is always part of the problem and not the solution.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation the world for the next four years.

I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause. These people should be targets.

I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.

I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.

I believe that it doesn't 'take a village' to raise a child, it takes two parents.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.

I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

I believe if she has her lips on your "naughty bits" , it is sex, and it is sex for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States.

If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you, too, are a BAD American, please copy this to everyone you know.

We need our country back!

New regular post idea

2006-03-29T15:26:00.000-05:00

How would it go over if, on a given day, assuming I had nothing of import to say, I simply posted a picture of a beautiful woman?

The Daily Babe-age: Brittany Murphy

Whatcha need?

2006-03-27T23:51:00.000-05:00

It's Monday, so I'll again be taking your prayer requests.

Von, your unborn remains on the list.

Mmm... Jessica Alba

2006-03-25T13:15:00.000-05:00

I'm finally getting the chance to see Sin City. That was probably the single most depressing movie of all time, but it had Ms. Alba being... well, hot. Great cinematography, too.

The way they used the splashes of color in specific places really added to the movie.

Plus... Jessica Alba!

2006-03-24T01:20:00.000-05:00

HT ZombieSilas

Ho. Ly. Crap.

2006-03-22T20:54:00.000-05:00

I need one of these.

1 GB video RAM...

Hold on, I've gotta go wipe the spittle from my chin...

Say it with me... Laissez Faire

2006-03-21T00:58:00.000-05:00

Gimme a break.

People will buy what they want to buy. They'll eat what they want to eat. It's no one's job but my own to decide what I can or can't eat. If I want to eat junk food, I'll bloody well eat junk food!

That's how it works. Companies have the purpose of making money. If the way to do that is to sell not just healthy things, but also cellophane-wrapped-heart-attacks, that's too damned bad! To survive in a business environment, you need to make money. To make money, you need to sell people what they want. That's the concept of a free market economy. Free.

Anyone who says otherwise doesn't live on a little planet I like to call Earth.

/rant

2006-03-20T21:34:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna start taking prayer requests every Monday...

Anybody? Anybody?

2006-03-19T13:43:00.000-05:00

Anybody want a Gmail account? I have 100 invites left.

Sorry about the leave of absence

2006-03-18T22:12:00.000-05:00

but I was reinstalling everything on my laptop.

First, I was trying to dual boot with Ubuntu and XP, and wondering why it took Ubuntu 6 hours to install, and then freak out and die. Also, it refused to boot from any Windows disk.

I'll give you three guesses as to why that was. And how I fixed it.

I almost made her head explode!

2006-03-17T15:48:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got into a political discussion with one of my teachers (for poetry, of course), on why Socialism wouldn't work and is unfair, Comrade. She decided to go with the "everybody deserves to be treated equally and get the same treatment on everything, and like, peace 'n love, man" (universal health care) approach. I was forced to respond with a query as to the fairness of taking money from people who made good decisions and worked extra hard and giving it to the people who made bad decisions (like dropping out of high school) or weren't as ambitious. It then progressed to "So the people who don't have money don't work hard?" I didn't say that. What I said was, you've made your bed, now lie in it.

More to come later.

Anyway, we're on a break from playing Counter-Strike Source at my friend D-bo's apartment. As to his nickname; don't ask. 'Cause I don't know where that came from.

Java tests (my patience)

2006-03-14T22:56:00.000-05:00

package TaxRet1;

import javax.swing.JOptionPane;
public class TaxReturn
{

public static void main()
{
double AnnInc, percent;
String SSN, LName, FName, StAdd, City, State, Zip;
boolean isDataValid;
isDataValid = false;
while (!isDataValid)
{
SSN = JOptionPane.showInputDialog(null, "What is your Social Security Number? Remember, \nuse only numbers and dashes.");
if (SSN.length() == 11)
{
if (SSN.charAt(3) == '-' && SSN.charAt(6) == '-')
{
String tempstr = SSN.Remove(3, 1);
tempstr = tempstr.Remove(5, 1);
boolean isNumeric = true;
for (int x = 0; x < 9; x++)
{
if (Character.isDigit((tempstr.charAt(x))))
{
}
else
{
isNumeric = false;
}
}

if (!isNumeric)
{
JOptionPane.showMessageDialog(null, "The characters of the Social Security number must be numeric.");
}

else
{
isDataValid = true;
}
}
else
{
JOptionPane.showMessageDialog(null, "Sorry, dashes belong after the 3rd and 5th numbers.");
}
}
else
{
JOptionPane.showMessageDialog(null, "Social Security number must have exactly 11 characters. (XXX-XX-XXXX)");
}

}
LName = JOptionPane.showInputDialog(null, "What is your last name?");
FName = JOptionPane.showInputDialog(null, "What is your first name?");
StAdd = JOptionPane.showInputDialog(null, "What is your street address?");
City = JOptionPane.showInputDialog(null, "What city are you from?");
State = JOptionPane.showInputDialog(null, "What is your home state?");
Zip = JOptionPane.showInputDialog(null, "What is your zip code?");
if (Zip.length() != 5)
{
Zip = JOptionPane.showInputDialog(null, "Sorry, invalid ZIP code. Please input\na five-digit ZIP code.");
}
if (Zip.length() == 5)
{
for (int x = 0; x < 6; x++)
{
if (Character.isDigit((Zip.charAt(x))))
{
}
while(!Character.isDigit(Zip.charAt(x)))
{
Zip = JOptionPane.showInputDialog(null, "Zip code must be 5 numbers in length.");
}
}
}

AnnInc = Double.parseDouble(JOptionPane.showInputDialog(null, "What is your annual income?"));
int Mar;
Mar = JOptionPane.showConfirmDialog(null, "Are you married?", "Married?", JOptionPane.YES_NO_OPTION);
if (AnnInc < 0)
{
AnnInc = Double.parseDouble(JOptionPane.showInputDialog(null, "Sorry, income cannot be less than zero."));
}
if (AnnInc < 20001)
{
percent = .15;
JOptionPane.showMessageDialog(null, " " + FName + " " + LName + "\n" + StAdd + "\n" + City + ", " + State + " " + Zip + "\nowes $" + AnnInc * percent);
}

else if (AnnInc > 20001 && AnnInc < 50001)
{
if (Mar == JOptionPane.YES_OPTION)
{
percent = .20;
JOptionPane.showMessageDialog(null, " " + FName + " " + LName + "\n" + StAdd + "\n" + City + ", " + State + " " + Zip + "\nowes $" + AnnInc * percent);
}
else
{
percent = .22;
JOptionPane.showMessageDialog(null, " " + FName + " " + LName + "\n" + StAdd + "\n" + City + ", " + State + " " + Zip + "\nowes $" + AnnInc * percent);
}
}

else if (AnnInc > 50000)
{
if (Mar == JOptionPane.YES_OPTION)
{
percent = .28;
JOptionPane.showMessageDialog(null, " " + FName + " " + LName + "\n" + StAdd + "\n" + City + ", " + State + " " + Zip + "\nowes $" + AnnInc * percent);
}
else
{
percent = .30;
JOptionPane.showMessageDialog(null, " " + FName + " " + LName + "\n" + StAdd + "\n" + City + ", " + State + " " + Zip + "\nowes $" + AnnInc * percent);
}

}
System.exit(0);
}

}

Should end up being graded in the next few days... but this was a pain in my arse to write!

Sweet... Let's go steal some oil now!

2006-03-12T22:32:00.000-05:00

You Are 64% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

H/T Harvey

Sorry to disappoint you, but

2006-03-12T18:06:00.000-05:00

Karl Rove decided to ~~get the hell outta Dodge~~ leave as soon as he was done speaking. He struck me as a very intelligent man, however, and his speech was fairly witty and well-done.

Plus I got a complimentary mug. It was schweet.

Funny, but gross.

2006-03-10T15:34:00.000-05:00

What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?

The wall behind him.

2006-03-09T23:09:00.000-05:00

I'm going with my dad to a dinner on Saturday night, where the great Darth Rove will be speaking. Expect a picture of he and I shaking hands and a synopsis to be posted either late Saturday or early Sunday.

That is all. ;)

Didja ever

2006-03-07T23:38:00.000-05:00

have the experience of someone reading over your shoulder, and when you ask them to stop, they don't quite take the hint? They think in their tiny brains, "Ohh, he's a nice guy. He must be joking."
I tell you today, this is not true. Reading over my shoulder is punishable by death in some Arab countries, and may result in massive blunt trauma to the face in the shape of a size 14 Converse All-Star.

In general, I'm a pretty laid-back guy. However, if a person continues an activity like that (which absolutely drives me batshit), after being asked to discontinue said annoyance, I cannot be held responsible for their health, or sudden lack thereof.

Now, where did I leave my other shoe...

Yay webcomics!

2006-03-07T23:32:00.000-05:00

Goblins!

8-bit Theater

Commissioned

Heh. Hehe.

2006-03-05T21:24:00.000-05:00

American Jedi

A parody of American Pie and Star Wars: Episode I. Not safe for work or small children. Or possibly anyone who is easily offended.

Hilarious, though.

2006-03-04T23:39:00.000-05:00

Average Grunt
You are 62% of a gun nut!

You've been trained in the art of the rifle. When you're handed a
firearm, you can generally use it competently. The local firing range
knows you on a first-name basis.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 75% on knowledge

H/T Tyler D.

... A New Car!!!

2006-03-04T02:38:00.000-05:00

Went to Columbus tonight to look at (and end up buying) a car. A ninety-something Buick with the LT1 (the Corvette motor). Dad drove it home, with me following in the truck, and that sucker will MOVE!

Who wants to donate

2006-03-01T23:33:00.000-05:00

to the send adamb to meet Karl Rove fund? It's going to cost me $25. I have $5. Suggestions? Advice? Extra cash? I'm not picky.

Yay for crappy weather!

2006-03-01T23:21:00.000-05:00

The freezing rain is supposed to start at 5 am and go until noon... On the day of my 11 am midterm. P*ss on it. Stoopid rain.

Update... It didn't rain at all. Lyin' weathermen!

Why does our coffee suck?!

2006-02-28T21:49:00.000-05:00

Every time I go to get a cup of coffee at home, no matter whether it's a fresh pot or been sitting on the burner all day, it's too bitter to drink. We have a Bunn, and buy regular roast coffee grounds. Is it our water, or should I shoot the machine?

What a joke

2006-02-28T10:04:00.000-05:00

As Microsoft tries ripping off OQO...

Mardi Gras!

2006-02-26T16:54:00.000-05:00

"I can't believe this," sobs one man who was caught exposing himself. "I was an altar boy."

Heh. Alcohol makes people funny.

Remember, Ash Wednesday is this week. I better see all you Catholics at Mass! ;)

OS switch

2006-02-22T12:50:00.000-05:00

My Pentium II (366 mhz), 448 mB RAM, circa 1998 laptop is going to hell. Too much free software screws it up. I'm currently running XP Pirate Edition, but I want something that runs better on slower hardware. Will 2000 run Visual Studio 2005 and Office 2003 though?

Just out of curiosity

2006-02-18T18:26:00.000-05:00

what religion are each of you?

Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!

2006-02-16T01:27:00.000-05:00

...then I gut the goblin with my +2 punch-daggers...

2006-02-15T00:59:00.000-05:00

I've been playing Morrowind for the XBox, and I've gotta say, it's as close to playing D&D as it gets without having a dumb friend in the kitchen looking for Cheetos.

Ha! My Conservative Immune System Triumphs!

2006-02-13T22:10:00.000-05:00

I have managed to beat the 24-36 hour flu in under 18 hours, but I was too lazy to say so last night and I woke up late this morning. Nonetheless, with orange juice, aspirin to break the fever, and prayer, I'm well again!

Urg.

2006-02-11T20:57:00.000-05:00

Coming down with the Flu from Hell. Any suggested remedies?

Almost fortuitous, isn't it?

2006-02-08T23:54:00.000-05:00

The episode of Futurama in which the alien eats a hippy and starts tripping out was just on.

Sweeeeeet.

2006-02-08T23:24:00.000-05:00

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

From the desk of adamb

2006-02-08T22:45:00.000-05:00

Welfare money at work?

2006-02-06T01:32:00.000-05:00

A groaner

2006-02-04T16:24:00.000-05:00

So there's this baby seal, right? And one night he walks into a club.

A new form of weekly post?

2006-02-03T20:43:00.000-05:00

In case y'all hadn't noticed, Wyatt has a regular post known as People I Hate. In response, I am starting my own variant; People the World Would Really Be Better Off Without Whom I Am Far Too Lazy to Do Anything About. So, to start off PtWWRBBOWWIAFTLtDAA,

John Kiel Patterson -- Anyone who is that big of a pathetic cry-baby attention-whore should be taken out and clubbed repeatedly. With a wiffle-ball bat.
Saddam Hussein -- skip the trial, straight to the death by ~~snoo-snoo~~ stoning.
Castro -- Dang him! And his state-owned cigars!
Splodeytards
Hugo Chavez

Bonus points if you caught the Futurama reference!

Huh?

2006-02-03T20:39:00.000-05:00

Why do I get a 403 error (permission to access denied) when trying to visit Uber?

Geeks Ahoy!

2006-02-02T23:45:00.000-05:00

This is the funniest 8-bit humor I have ever seen!

Vote or Die, B****!

2006-01-31T20:20:00.000-05:00

It's time to head over to the polls! JimmyB and Wyatt have been nominated for best personal blog, while DPT has been nominated for best humor blog. And, in the words of (someone I saw on South Park who is probably some sort of celebrity), "Vote or Die!"

You're kidding! I'm a foreign car?!

2006-01-28T19:13:00.000-05:00

I'm a Ferrari 360 Modena!

You've got it all. Power, passion, precision, and style. You're sensuous, exotic, and temperamental. Sure, you're expensive and high-maintenance, but you're worth it.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

HT Tyler D.

Any game recommendations?

2006-01-28T18:15:00.000-05:00

Anybody know of any good games for XBox, PS2, Gamecube, etc.?

News to anyone?

2006-01-24T00:52:00.000-05:00

Is anyone really surprised?

Underworld: Evolution

2006-01-23T08:18:00.000-05:00

Not as good as the original, but still worth the eight bucks.

Are they on crack?!

2006-01-18T20:22:00.000-05:00

Why do the Dummycrats act so hypocritical? If their own people are under fire for ethics violation, why are they bringing this up at all? Do they think bad publicity is better than none? Because in this case, that's wrong.
Rep. Boehner (heh-heh. heh-heh.) had this to say, "When I hear Democratic Party leaders throwing around terms like 'culture of corruption,' I have to think, 'You oughta know.'"
Ab-so-lutely.

Joining the Gainfully Employed

2006-01-17T20:54:00.000-05:00

Today after school, I started working at my Great-Aunt-and-Uncle's restaurant. I'm a fry cook!
Yummy greasy food!

Shadegg for Prez. '08, anybody?

2006-01-15T00:12:00.000-05:00

This guy seems to be just what the doctor ordered.
Called Michael "I want the XXL bucket o' popcorn" Moore the Anti-Christ and compared Clinton to Hitler...
An actual Republican, not a fake one... wants smaller gov't and lower taxes... said Bush's tax cuts were too small...
How can we get him to run?

JimmyB's true identity revealed?

2006-01-14T23:21:00.000-05:00

JimmyB is really... (insert drumroll here) Big Boss, of Metal Gear Solid fame, the famed Commie-fighting, mullet-wearing All-American badass.
And is only a robot in Evil Glenn's dreams.

Happy Birthday, Doc!

2006-01-13T11:03:00.000-05:00

Here's your present!

Let's be reasonable

2006-01-09T22:47:00.000-05:00

or at least pretend. Hmm. Is Bush the guy in charge of the entire DoD? Not really. The president, as quoted from the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, "is there to draw attention away from power, not to have any himself. No offense."
Why, then, are these dorks ripping on him? Because they are asshats.

Then why have we been buying that crap?

2006-01-09T22:40:00.000-05:00

WTF? Why bother with 'em then?

Does this look like JimmyB's house?

2006-01-07T11:50:00.000-05:00

This look familiar?

2006-01-07T11:24:00.000-05:00

Wyatt, does your hockey team occasionally look something like this? You must be the guy in the back.

HT Hoosierboy

Field Guide to Hippy Hunting

2006-01-03T23:44:00.000-05:00

If you are anything resembling a right-wing, conservative, red-blooded American, you may have given some thought to hunting peace-nik Commie pinkos, also known as hippies. This guide will introduce you to several methods of hunting, field dressing, and hiding evidence.

Hunting
Hippies can be hunted in several ways; the most common is to stalk on foot, while using a tree stand or going to Phish concerts are also feasible options. When hunting hippies, use a firearm. Please. There is nothing worse than stepping on a used broadhead covered in hippy stink. That can give you gangrene or a contact buzz, depending how long ago the hippy was shot. Paintball guns using pepper-balls also work well, specifically if you have a sadistic streak. If using a firearm, use at least a .32, preferably a .357 or larger. No sense wasting ammo and showering your surroundings in patchouli stench. A .22 is too small, and may not penetrate the cloud of pot smoke found around most hippies.

Hippies may be hunted over bait, including marijuana, which is widely accepted as the most effective hippy bait. LSD may also be used, but is less effective since it doesn't have that characteristic smell that hippies know and love.

Field Dressing
To field dress a hippy, use garbage bags, duct tape, and rocks. Oops, now I've combined two chapters. Now, if you've given thought to mounting said hippy, you are a disgusting pervert and should be maimed. To fully capitalize on having hunted down this hippy, feel free to take pictures and post them on the web, so when the hippy's coven of creepy pagan buddies want to find you, they can track you down easy. Post your full name, address, and telephone number under the pictures too, just for good measure. This will function as bait to bring in his dope-dealing peace-loving buddies.

Ask the Anti-Hippie Answers

2006-01-02T01:44:00.000-05:00

Marvin asked, " Do you have any family, or are you a single child?"

Marvin, didn't you know that here in the sticks, every family MUST have at least 47 children. Seventy-three if your family is Catholic. Seriously though, I have a mom, a dad (who is the Rabbit Priest on weekends), three younger brothers ranging from 9 to 14, and a younger sister (who is under two, you pervs). I'm the oldest, and quite possibly the most devious. Indeed.

FIAR had three questions:
1. "Why did it take you so long to start a blog of your own?"

2. "Do you plan to be a contributor to nearly every blog like Jimmy?"

3. "Will Jimmy be a contributor to this blog?"

So I have three answers to pull from my sack of hippy-killing goodness:
1. FIAR, being a fulltime student/smartass/hippy hunter, for a long time I didn't think I had the time to blog. Then, I discovered that I wasted more time aimlessly wandering the internet than doing anything else, so I decided to put that time to good use.

2. Only many blogs, not nearly all of them. Did I mention JimmyB is an eeeevil conservative robot sent from the future?

3. If I can find a way to harness that hippy-hating energy, then yes.

JimmyB, our favorite eeeevil robot, had two questions:
1. " Will I be contributing to this blog? ;)"

2. "Is there a bag limit on hippies in Ohio?"

To these I reply...
1. How do I harness that hatred of hippies?

2. Ohio has no yearly limit on hippies, but you may only take three daily, unless one of these same was taken on your own property, consisting of no fewer than 40 acres or 1 closet-trap full of reefer. Similarly, the state of Ohio asks that any wounded or injured hippies be "disposed of" in an excruciating manner. Please remember to clean up any brain matter or intestinal material left during the taking of said hippy.

Finally, our friend the Rabbit Priest (Dad's alter ego) thought it best to remind me that he did indeed share my mother's bed last night, as he does every night:
"I slept with your mom last nite"

Favorite Movie Quotes

2006-01-01T12:49:00.000-05:00

"Maggot, I will call you Pvt. Pyle."

"Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with strawberries..."

"You have the ring. And I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now, let's see how you... handle it!"

"What?! You went over my helmet?"

"Let's do the village! Let's do the whole F***ing village!

"Toga! Toga! Toga!"

"I thought you said there were blanks in that gun!
There were blanks in that gun!"

Ask the Anti-Hippie

2005-12-30T21:35:00.000-05:00

The next few days are going to be sorta hectic, so I'm opening up the forum for any questions on, well, anything. About me, my family, life, hippy hunting, etc. So ask away!

Narnia rocked!

2005-12-29T12:07:00.000-05:00

The lack of post-age yesterday was due to the fact that I went with a few family members to go see The Chronicles of Narnia: tL,tW,atW. Great movie! Followed the book fairly closely, too.

European History Ch. 2

2005-12-27T20:24:00.000-05:00

Part two of my History of Europe, in which I continue to make junk up;

Luxemburg-- dinky little country, rivaled in minisculity (did I just make that word up?) only by Lichtenstein

Macedonia-- Small offshoot of Greece, where Alexander the Great came from, but still the home of hirsute paederasts

Lichtenstein-- the smallest country in Europe, Lichtenstein fits easily on the head of a pin

Norway, Sweden, and Finland-- these three make Antarctica look warm by comparison, but many swimsuit models come from these, so it makes up for the snow.

Bulgaria-- wasn't this the one in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang"?

Switzerland-- possibly THE most military hardware per square mile in the WORLD. These guys are serious about staying invader-free. Plus, they've got kick-ass chocolate.

Romania-- these people are seriously poor. somewhere on the way to the economic boom, these unfortunate folks got boned.

Portugal-- These folks financed Columbus, but seem to be a lot less of a world power anymore

more may follow

European History Ch. 1

2005-12-26T23:27:00.000-05:00

Many years ago, back when Europe didn't suck, or at least sucked less, it got divided up into a bunch of little "miniature" countries, reminiscent of "lawns" in major cities. This will provide a short history of several.

Austria-- see Germany for more information
France-- the word France comes from Latin, meaning "Do I smell unwashed surrender monkey?" They have, over the centuries, lost wars to the Romans, English, Germans, and even themselves. The French infantryman's kit includes (1) bottle wine, (1) wheel cheese, and one XXL white linen napkin.
Germany-- French for "Oh shit! Here they come!" Sort of like Austria's bigger, meaner older brother. Home of good beer, good food, and large women. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
England-- German for "Do we have any more bombs? Even little ones?" Famous for bad food, warm beer, and drunken Irish sots. And let's not forget the incessant rain.
Italy-- Great food, women with more facial hair than me... ick.
Greece-- contains Athens, the original meeting place for NAMBLA, and Sparta, where those eeeevil Republican warhawks started out.
Hungary-- I believe that to be a lunch-hour typo.
Spain-- spent several hundred years as the Muslims' bitch, looks to be heading back that way as of late.
The Netherlands-- "You will never see a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." (Obi-wan Kenobi)
Poland-- AKA "Lebensraum," from the German word for "we need your land"

and finally
Belgium-- Thanks for the waffles!

eye candy

2005-12-26T09:37:00.000-05:00

Since this blog has been up all of 12 hours now, I'm going to use a cheap tactic to bring in hits; the Bush twins. Mmmm...

Holy Crap

2005-12-25T23:14:00.000-05:00

Damn. Now that's a gun.

Traditional sucky first post

2005-12-25T18:54:00.000-05:00

Ahh, that new-blog smell. I'm AdamB, the Anti-Hippie, and this blog will be my attempt at humor in my ~~copious~~ freetime. Maybe we'll also see occasional posts from JimmyB and/or my dad.

As I'm one of the Ohiuh hillfolk, my Uncle JimmyB is also my blogfather... creepy how that works out, isn't it? Gotta give credit to the Doc, too.

*Aside to mother* "Mommy, why do I have two blogfathers?"

Anyway, that sums up the traditional sucky first post. More to come